As the old saying goes, you can't judge a book by its cover. However, when it comes to online dating, making a fraction of a second decision about whether to swipe to the right or to the left often has to do with a quick judgment based on appearance.
That superficiality is killing many singles, says Adam Cohen Aslatei, former managing director of the gay dating application Chappy and founder of a new dating application called S & # 39; More. Or, he says, at least it prevents many from finding love.
"Everyone thinks they know what they want, but everyone is still single," said Cohen Aslatei.
S & # 39; More, which is free on iOS, blurs profile photos, forcing daters to focus first on the listed interests. If something resonates, such as education, the current mood, a voice clip, even a sign of the zodiac, can wink that attribute in another person's profile. The more you interact, the less blurry the photo becomes.
Eventually, you can send a message. The person on the other side cannot open the message until he has gone to his profile and has also winked. In addition, S & # 39; More only offers five profiles per day.
Cohen Aslatei hopes that this change in the typical online dating process will lead to more meaningful interactions between people who have appointments.
Although physical attraction is often the strongest indicator of whether love lovers want to go on a date, there might be something in the idea that front-loading personality details could affect the attraction, said Paul Eastwick, department professor. of psychology from the University of California Davis. .
"Because you learn these other things about someone, the literature they read, the movies they watch, these things you find attractive are consistent for you," Eastwick said. That kind of detail can affect how attractive a person is.
Online dating currently occupies a strange balance in modern life. It is becoming increasingly popular: data from the Pew Research Center published last week found that 30% of adults in the US UU. They have tried dating online, which is twice as many as four years ago. However, complaints are rampant above all, from the difficulty of getting a partner to the prevalence of ghosts.
Survey Monkey surveyed 4,000 adults and found that 56% of respondents had a somewhat or very negative view of online dating, and those feelings were quite consistent in both age and gender.
However, there are indications that it works. A 2019 Stanford University study found that 39% of heterosexual couples who met in 2017 met online, and that number increased to 65% for same-sex couples.
Cohen Aslatei realizes that it is impossible to put aside physical attraction, and S & # 39; More takes into account your preferences. So, if you wink at a characteristic listed as brown eyes, the algorithm takes note.
"We are not saying that physical attraction does not matter, but it ends up being used as the main filtering mechanism, which is filtering very good results for people," he said.
Another way that S & # 39; More is diverging from many dating applications is by demanding that all members be verified by taking a selfie that matches two other photos that they have uploaded, Cohen Aslatei said. An algorithm is also attentive to potentially abusive or inappropriate behaviors within chats and asks daters if the person they are talking to is friendly and courteous. People who rate better see more profiles of people with similar qualifications. However, there are too many red flags and you may end up outside the application.
So far, S & # 39; More was launched in Boston, New York and Washington D.C. The company has plans for Chicago and Los Angeles in the coming weeks. Cohen Aslatei said the waiting list has exceeded 15,000.
"It is a process of discovery," he said, "which is really what a relationship is."